Her vs Him

So....today is May 24th..man this month has flown by...I"m definately NOT complaining as I only have a few more days left of work until I'm off for summer vacation!!! Waaaaaaahooooo!!

It is bittersweet though as this is my last school year in X ISD. I got a new job closer to my house at Z ISD and I'm really looking forward to the change. I have not been happy this year at my current gig for a few reasons...mainly the commute (45-1hour ONE WAY), the workload (3 campuses), and the $$ I have to spend on gas (fill ups 3-4 times per week at 30-35 bux per fill-up....you do the math).....so I"m definately looking forward to being closer to home.

Home is going ok--I"ve been majorly frustrated with alot of things surrounding this issue....I'm sooo ready to be done with this remodel....it has taken much longer than I expected it to...we are doing as much as we can do ourselves and then paying people to do the rest. I am just annoyed at not being done....not having company...just annoyed. The house has cause a little bit of tension between me and the BF lately...but we've been working steadily on it and things hopefully will be taking a turn for the better...

One of our main issues is sorta related in a roundabout way to the house, but mostly another issue in and of itself. Any of you that have been following me for a little bit know that I like to travel even if its in state....I always manage to get a little trip in somewhere....well me and the BF have not been on a vacation together in ages....last May 2009, he went on a boys trip and I thought that perhaps he and I would have gone somewhere...but that never happened...I always said that Summer 2010 I was getting out of Texas...but I would settle for at least out of Houston. I tried several times to get him to committ to a trip out of town,and I'm usually met with a "we'll see" or "maybe" which from childhood--we all know what that means...

I kinda let it go more or less b/c I know we are spending ALOT of $$ lately and have had to lend considerable amounts of money to family members, so I haven't pressed to go out of state too hard lately. I then suggested we go to San Antonio...close...cheap...lots to do....still met with the "we'll see" "maybe"....so I've noticing I'm growing more frustrated b/c I just wanna spend some time with him...away from the realities of regular life living in a home that is under renovation....so I even dumbed the trip down more to staying at a hotel on the other side of town and going to have a nice dinner....still nothing...

We've argued about this subject time after time and it goes back to our 2 different philosophies:

My view: I am the type of person who when met with stress often likes to step back from it for a little bit...do something to get my mind off of things...go back and knock it out....

His view: He is the type of person that when met with stress likes to knock it out, knock it out, knock it out...then step away from it stress free and doing something he enjoys

I'm not knocking his way...at all..in theory it is awesome...but I've noticed that I've been feeling burned out....that's another reason why I'm changing districts next year...I feel burned out of my job....and I'm also feeling burned out of my everyday life...I need something new, fun, exciting to look forward to..

So, we get into it b/c he is refusing to budge on this issue...he says his way causes him to be the more effective and get shit done..and I'm feeling sooo blah b/c I NEEEEED to get away and its usually a tug of war w/both of us falling on our faces...

I hate getting into it w/him...especially about something so simple as this...I often feel like I'm being a bitch b/c he is doing sooooo much to make this house the house of my dreams (for right now) and to make me happy and I'm not acting as if I appreciate it...but that's not it...I just wanna get back to the way we were when we first met and had fun and enjoyed one another....

I'm sure you all reading this are wondering why I haven't explained this to him about enjoying each other, but I have and I'm met with him feeling like I HAVE to have the hotel, wine/dine, going out, fun in the city/sun type of thing in order to enjoy him....that's not it!!

For example..about 2 wks ago we got a hotel for his neice's b-day and we were going to get out own room there too and enjoy each other's company...only he decided and told me at the last minute that he wanted us to stay at home instead and save the $$ that would have been spent for later...I was obviously and noticeably disappointed and spoke as if I were disappointed (we were on the phone) and tried to explain to him....."awwww well I guess so, but I was really looking forward to getting away from the house and the construction and etc." and he mumbled under his break in a snarly tone "b/c heaven forbid you'd just be happy staying at home and enjoy being together" and in the end I ended up apologizing b/c I wasn't trying to insuinate that I was too good for that....but that I was just disappointed b/c I thought of how fun and special it would be to spend time w/him....away...

I wish he could understand that yes, a couple should just be able to enjoy the simple things...but that you do have to include the spice and change of going out and going places and doing things...you gotta keep igniting that spark...ya know? He keeps saying that we can do all that when its the "right time" and when things "settle down"

The sensible part of me knows that what he is saying is right and that I will enjoy things 10x's better when the stress of a reno is over, but the playful part of me just wants to spend time with my man and have some new experiences to talk about....*sigh* I guess I should wrap this up...I do have a report or 2 to work on..ugh!

Wow!! I feel better getting these thoughts out...I forgot how good blogging felt!!

I guess I will be back again when the urge hits me....:)